Thursday, September 10, 2015

You Have Your Girl, You Have Your Boy, Now You're Done.

This story was originally written for Harding Happenings but also shared on North Phoenix Moms Blog since I write for both.

It's a curious thing the American Dream. In the past it meant a man and women should have 2 kids, a home mortgage, a minivan, a dog, yadda yadda yadda. Oh we know it varies for all of us but you get what I mean.

We had always talked about 3 kids...ALWAYS. Because a single child might be too spoiled, selfish and bratty - The Only Child Myth and 2 would be good but 3 would be wonderful! The house would be full with just us...nevermind once you start adding spouses and children. 3 always felt right to us. I knew, jokingly, that I probably shouldn't have 3 boys. This was a standing joke among my husband's family who at the time was my boyfriend. He and his 2 brothers had NO FILTERS and I was constantly subjected to bro topics and humor that ALWAYS crossed the lines. So in my teenage years I said I should have a girl. And I did. Next came a boy.

Now let me tell you right here and now that if I had 3 boys or 3 girls I would have been over the moon happy. God blessed me with 1 girl and 2 younger boys. The gender of my babies wasn't important to me because once I saw the flutter of a beating heart I was IN LOVE.

When we had our second an alarming thing happened. We had reached our limit.

I can't even tell you how many times we heard the same comment, "You Have Your Girl, You Have Your Boy, Now You're Done." Just like that EVERYONE had our family planned for us! It made me wonder...why a mother of a girl and a boy has reached her limit? Why is the focus on not only having 2 babies but one of each sex?! That's perfection according to many.

I felt like it wasn't as socially acceptable for us to try for a third. Why would we?! A girl for me and a boy for husband. Win, Win & Done, Done.

Of course if we had two girls or two boys having a third would make sense. "Oh they are trying for that girl/boy" people would say. They would think we were crazy for having more than 2 kids but they would understand the NEED to have one of each gender.

When did the focus become so pointed on the number + gender of our children?! The gender reveal parties with the filled cupcakes/boxes or the photoshoots with the dreamy balloons and shiny tassels in the appropriate color. Nothing against them, I probably would have had a gender reveal party if they were trending at the time I had my babies but my experience with child bearing has made the topic of gender bittersweet. Based on the gender of my first two children many implied there was no need for a third child.  It was less a celebration and more that I found myself continually defending my decision to have a third child.

But my story included 1 girl and 2 boys. It’s a joy to see their relationships develop. Playing, laughing, growing together. The love and similarities they share have nothing to do with gender. And I’m so thankful that our plan had nothing to do with gender either. We were able to have 3 sweet and healthy babies that we had always hoped for. And now we are done. :)

Friday, May 1, 2015

This Season of Me

Photo Credit Talk Studios Make Up Artist Healthy Skin AZ

Woman of God. Working from home. Mom of 3. Busier than I could have EVER imagined. Blogger + Mompeneur. Graphic Designer. Social Media Sista. Gleamster. Baby Food Reppin'. Hand Lettering Dabbler. Local Lover. Party Thrower. DIY Diva. Vintage Junkie meets Modern Mama. Owner of 2 Homes. Only 1 Car. Loving Willow. Bangs. Hustler. Beer Taster. Savvy Shopper. Lunch Lady for 2. Driver of 3. Wife of Stars Coach. Neighborhood Group. Stylist + Newbie Braider. Healthy Living Wanna Be. Decorator. Mamarazzi. Professional iPhone Photographer. BFeeding. Backpack Packer. Cup Filler. Park Player. Harding for Lifer. And much more.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Mommy I Need You

Photo Credit to Dream Photography Studio

Sometimes the simple phrase "Mommy I Need You" couldn't be sweeter! Tonight it was Fletcher calling out to me when he was supposed to be fast asleep. I had already MAJORLY coaxed him to bed.

He's currently as a stage where he HATES going to sleep in his own bed + he's a night owl. It is more often than not an extremely frustrating process. He starts to ask what will happen after dinner, what will happen after bath time, can he lay on the couch, etc. etc. etc. He is waiting for us to say he has to go to bed so that he finally can go into battle against the bedtime war that we currently have going. There are always tears and objections. IT. IS. A. PROCESS! 

Well tonight I got him into jammies. Read him two parts of a four story book...a "vintage" Martha and George book incase you cared. He giggled and that made me happy that he liked one of my old favs. Finally I tucked him in. A while later I hear "Mommy I need you!" called out a couple times. This made me happy in that moment. It wasn't the normal this is "such a process" feeling of trying to get him to bed. I was needed by him and that brought me joy. It's a gamble sometimes...appreciating that need. It was heaven in that instant and I might have even smiled. :) So I hurried to his room. Grabbed the Baymax toy that was out of his reach. Gave him a smooch. And said I love you. I know soon I will wish for so many of these little moments.

Tonight it filled my whole heart with love.